I’d go to and apply to the Nerdlesque festival and then go to Burlycon. Alas, Burlycon 2014 will win for now….
Just struggling with myself.
Struggling with my loneliness.
Struggling with my need to have control because I’m so lonely.
Losing control and black hole dropping in and out of like jumping into a portal.
Trying to remind myself why I choose to associate with the things I love when they come with the bullshit that makes it really hard to love it.
Wanting to hide and not deal. And then I get lonely because I’d rather talk about it and handle my situation better.
Cycle repeats with explosion of feeling to my partner because I don’t have anyone else to talk to. And he gets sad because he’s done nothing wrong and I just can’t handle how much hurt and sadness and loneliness I’m feeling.
And the only thing I wish I could do to break the cycle.
Because I want to choose to live.
I should get better at not trying to help unless asked. And not being so eager to help. It’s harmless but obviously annoying. *spanks*
im being picky with my feed, if i unfollowed you soz an stuff.